This question is somewhat unique in that it is dependent on family dynamics and such, but we wanted to at least put together this blog and give you some tips and tricks and things to think about before you decide to bring your children into the attorney meetings for your estate plan.

Young Children: What to Know

Our office always welcomes our clients to bring their little kids. But there are a few things I want you to consider if you plan on bringing your little kids to the meeting. There may be some complex questions discussed during the meeting that you do not want your children to hear, such as death and what happens after you die. This could be overwhelming for small children because they have no concept of what is going on. Be mindful of how the meeting may affect the young children.

Adult Children: What to Know

Pros

When inviting adult children to the planning meeting, consider how this will affect your decision-making. There are some advantages to bringing your adult children to the meeting, such as the fact that they will not be surprised by your wishes and what you told the attorney. This reduces the likelihood of a lawsuit. This will lead to fewer suspicions about the other people involved, as well as their siblings.

The second reason it would be beneficial is that they may bring up things that you may not have considered, such as issues related to grandkids if you are naming grandchildren as beneficiaries. Or, they may not want a particular asset of yours.

The third advantage is that they will meet the attorney and know exactly where they can go following your death.

Cons

The negative side of bringing your children into the meeting is that your decisions may change and be skewed. There also may be things that parents are not be comfortable to speak to the attorney about because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if children are in the room.

The second reason is privacy. You may want to maintain privacy especially if you are not equally distributing between all of your children or don’t want them to be aware of how you plan on distributing your assets so that it does not impact your relationship while you are alive.

If you decide to bring your children to the meeting after reading the pros and cons, we highly recommend that you involve all your children in the process. In our office, we have an all or nothing policy. If you will be bringing them, they must all attend, or we recommend none of them attend. Involving only a few of your children or one of them can lead to problems in the future.

As always we offer free consultations, so contact our office to discuss your estate plan.